School has begun and having our son in an alternative school is going great! The staff seem caring and understanding, and the student to teacher ratio is fantastic!
Hope all continues to go well!
Tuesday, September 7, 2010
Wednesday, April 14, 2010
Halfway through the week...
I walked into Darby's school this afternoon to pick him up, and it's required that you sign in at the office. Which itself is no big deal, so I went in, and the administrative assistant and guidance counseler were whispering and giving me really dirty looks. I thought about it as I was walking to the classroom, and realized that perhaps they had gotten wind of the letter that I emailed to the district office stating that Darby would not be attending that school next year and demanding a decision be made on his placement next year by May 3rd.
Now, I know that it doesn't seem like a lot of time to give them, however, they have been jerking us around for the past two months, and I spoke with Darby's disability advocate through a local agency, and she told me that it would be in our best interests to send that letter. I sent it to the district psychologist, special ed supervisor, the school's special ed department, AND (to cover my own ass, because I have dealt with bs from this district before) the Superintendent of the District. I am really done fooling around with these people, and the crap that I dealt with today just reenforces that.
The guidance counseler, Mrs. Ryan, and I have had a hate/hate relationship since Darby started at that school last year. A lot of the kids were picking on him and really bullying him to the point where he broke down and begged me to homeschool him. I tried to get in to see the principal, but she was out that day, and I was stuck with Mrs. Ryan. I explained to her the situation, and she in turn blamed Darby because he did not conform to what the other kids were like.
Later on that week, the same crap happened and I wrote a very angry letter to her, pretty much telling her to get her head out of her ass. When Darby was finally diagnosed with PDD-NOS, I also took that as a chance to go off on her more. I'm sorry, but where are the supposed "No Bullying" and "Zero Tolerence" rules that the Burlington School District claims. There was one instance where a couple boys in his class were trying to get Darby to say somethings that were sexual in nature that would have gotten him expelled. Darby is a smart boy, and said no, but the other boys treated him like crap because he didn't do it. Isn't that a good reason for suspension?
I really don't care if people disagree with me, but even elementary school students should be suspended for bullying, because then maybe their parents will do something about it. At least it will show that there are consequences, instead of just being told, "No, you can't say that". Both my husband and I were victims of constant bullying, and to this day, it still affects us. Imagine what it will do to Darby.
On the bright side, it was another good day for him at school!
Now, I know that it doesn't seem like a lot of time to give them, however, they have been jerking us around for the past two months, and I spoke with Darby's disability advocate through a local agency, and she told me that it would be in our best interests to send that letter. I sent it to the district psychologist, special ed supervisor, the school's special ed department, AND (to cover my own ass, because I have dealt with bs from this district before) the Superintendent of the District. I am really done fooling around with these people, and the crap that I dealt with today just reenforces that.
The guidance counseler, Mrs. Ryan, and I have had a hate/hate relationship since Darby started at that school last year. A lot of the kids were picking on him and really bullying him to the point where he broke down and begged me to homeschool him. I tried to get in to see the principal, but she was out that day, and I was stuck with Mrs. Ryan. I explained to her the situation, and she in turn blamed Darby because he did not conform to what the other kids were like.
Later on that week, the same crap happened and I wrote a very angry letter to her, pretty much telling her to get her head out of her ass. When Darby was finally diagnosed with PDD-NOS, I also took that as a chance to go off on her more. I'm sorry, but where are the supposed "No Bullying" and "Zero Tolerence" rules that the Burlington School District claims. There was one instance where a couple boys in his class were trying to get Darby to say somethings that were sexual in nature that would have gotten him expelled. Darby is a smart boy, and said no, but the other boys treated him like crap because he didn't do it. Isn't that a good reason for suspension?
I really don't care if people disagree with me, but even elementary school students should be suspended for bullying, because then maybe their parents will do something about it. At least it will show that there are consequences, instead of just being told, "No, you can't say that". Both my husband and I were victims of constant bullying, and to this day, it still affects us. Imagine what it will do to Darby.
On the bright side, it was another good day for him at school!
Tuesday, April 13, 2010
A Sunny Tuesday!
Even though he did have a good day, it still doesn't change our thoughts on switching schools for next school year. But every good day that he has is a success in our eyes.
He has been very fixated on Mario lately, as in the Mario Brothers from the old Nintendo games. This has been a recurring theme on and off for the last three years. But we have noticed that he seems more obsessed with Mario when he is dealing with stress from school or peers, so as much as hearing about Mario 24/7 (and watching Mario videos on YouTube, and playing Mario flash games online while talking about Mario) may drive us a little batty (ha ha!), we accept it as his way of dealing with things, and it makes him happy.
Yesterday, I picked him up early from school for his doctors appt, and while we were waiting for the bus, he was telling me about recess and some of the girls in his class trying to get him into trouble. Then he says, "It kind of sucks, because one of them is my girlfriend". So I asked him if the girl knew that, or he "asked her out" (They are only 9, so it's kind of cute and amusing at the same time). His answer was that he didn't ask her, but she should know because that's "how I roll" (he said that!). So I had an interesting time trying to explain to him that just because you like someone, doesn't mean that they are your girlfriend unless you ask them, but I don't know if he realizes that or really paid attention to what I said. It was just too funny though.
As I am typing this up, before dinner, Darby is playing WWE on the Xbox 360, (he just likes to create people) and he made a Mario wrestler and now is working on a Luigi one...I wonder how many other parents of children with PDD-NOS or Aspergers have any similar stories about obsessing over one thing for so long?
Monday, April 12, 2010
Monthly Doctor's Appt
We went to Darby's doctor at UHC today to get a refill on his medication and weigh him. Finally, he has gained two pounds, bringing him up to 64 lbs.
Weight gain has always been a struggle for Darby since he began taking ADHD meds. He was on Concerta for 3 1/2 years with various others in the afternoon. However, the Concerta made him a zombie, and he was miserable. Last year we heard about Vyvance, which is a newer med, and while it doesn't make him a zombie, it has prevented him from gaining weight, though the dose has been the same for the past year.
We discussed the issues that were going on at the school and she agreed that Darby needed a better enviroment to learn in. It's good to have someone on our side once in a while.
Weight gain has always been a struggle for Darby since he began taking ADHD meds. He was on Concerta for 3 1/2 years with various others in the afternoon. However, the Concerta made him a zombie, and he was miserable. Last year we heard about Vyvance, which is a newer med, and while it doesn't make him a zombie, it has prevented him from gaining weight, though the dose has been the same for the past year.
We discussed the issues that were going on at the school and she agreed that Darby needed a better enviroment to learn in. It's good to have someone on our side once in a while.
The Back Story Behind The Blog
Last June, after years of questions about him just having ADHD, and doctors putting him on an insane laundry list of meds, and fighting for the proper testing, we found out that he had PDD-NOS, which is a form of high functioning autism. The doctor who performed the testing went for that diagnosis, even though he felt that there was probably enough to classify Darby as having Aspergers, also on the Autism Spectrum.
Having that diagnosis, at first my husband and I felt guilty, that perhaps it was something that we had done, or not done. But we researched and read book upon book, upon book, and found that it was most likely a genetic issue. Now we do not see it as a disability, but rather a gift, because he is so unique and smart, loving and happy (in general).
The biggest issue that we have had is with the public school system. It is very frustrating to deal with, every damn day!
When Darby was in kindergarden, he was diagnosed with ADHD and we were told by CP Smith Elementary (Burlington, VT) that there was no way they would take him without him being medicated. As fairly young parents (I was 25 at the time, my husband 33), we agreed and he was put on the first of many meds. But that year went horribly wrong, and they ended up saying they didn't want to deal with him, and he was tutored for two hours a day at a middle school down the street. We were so fed up with the school that we sold our mobile home that we had (we bought it for cheap housing and maybe equity...) and moved into a crappy apartment in Winooski, despite hearing that the schools there were bad.
We were very pleased with the schools there, though. Darby was placed in an inclusive classroom with 5 other kids that were similar to him, and he bonded with all but maybe one of them. He tested way ahead on math and several other subjects, and while he was behind on his reading, he was catching up very quickly. We stayed in Winooski for two years, but our apartment was in a not-so-good neighborhood, with some not very nice neighbors. So we looked all over for another place in Winooski, with no luck, and ended up moving back to Burlington, this time in the Old North End.
We discovered that the neighborhood that we lived in sent the elementary students to Lawrence Barnes School a few blocks away, and having known students who went there, we promptly filed a waiver to have him placed into a different school. However, our waiver was denied because the "other schools couldn't accept another student on an IEP" and we were stuck with Barnes.
Darby's third grade year wasn't a total waste. He had a great teacher who has a child with Autism, so she seemed to understand more of his needs. However, he had 3 different aides that year. The first one was only there until October. The second one he hated with a passion, and despite our requests that he work with another aide, it wasn't until March when she decided to go work on a farm full time that we finally got the last one for that year, who had been a student teacher in his class, and he took a liking to her. His only complaint was that she was a little too laid back...ha ha!
We finally got the report back that diagnosed him with Autism in June, and because he had been having a hard time socially, we decided that maybe if we sent him to summer school, he might make friends. While the friend factor didn't really work out as planned, he learned about US States and capitals, and useful things that is supposed to be taught at school. And as much as he complained that summer school cut into his family and beach time, he liked what they were teaching.
Before the school year started, we called a meeting with the school and Darby's new teacher to let them know what to expect from him. However, when we walked in, the new principal, the special ed teacher and several other staff were there. We felt trapped and they proceeded to ignore everything that we had told them. The principal actually mocked me saying that I was the "supposed expert" on PDD-NOS...I knew right then that the year was going to be rough.
The first aide that Darby had was verbally abusive and unprofessional with him. We fought and had to threaten legal action before they agreed to give him a new aide in October. The new aide is the one that he has now, and we like her well enough, except that along with the rest of the staff, they completely ignore what my husband has to say. We have fought over so many issues that we had told them about at the start of the school year and it's at the point where they want to put him on a shorter day...I told them that there was no way in hell Darby was coming back to that school in the fall, so they have pretty much given up on him.
So this is my blog, about the daily struggles and joys that we have as being parents to a great kid with PDD-NOS and ADHD, and about our lives in general. I feel very blessed that we are such a close family, my husband Shawn, Darby and I, where we can overcome anything that comes our way. Because in the end, it isn't how much money you have, but how much love there is. I hope that you can all enjoy my blog, and find a place for love and closeness like we have.
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